I’ll come right out and say it, I don’t affiliate really with any religion, although if asked I say Christian because that seems to make people feel better about me. Some people might read that first sentence and be flabbergasted and leave the site immediately, but if they kept reading they would get this: I may not go to church or put my religious affiliation on Facebook but I know there is something out there that is bigger than any of us could even dream of. Some people will call it God, others Fate, Destiny, Karma, I’m sure one could write an entire post with all the different names. The point is, I believe in whatever you want to call it. I think that we all have this guiding hand throughout our life, not necessarily a pre-determination of the outcome of your life, but something that gives you a swift kick in the arse when you are veering off into left field.
On another note, I continually struggle with this idea of settling. I am like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Maybe if I took more philosophy courses in college I would have a better grasp of the existentialist questions, but alas, no funds and no time make that difficult. I’m getting married soon, and I am so ecstatic to marry my best friend. But we have been together so long I sometimes feel like I haven’t experienced anything in the world on my own. In my darkest hours, I often question whether I’m settling in to this life because I am mistaking my joy for comfortable-ness. I think I could make a fair argument that this could be construed as avoidance of the fear of the unknown. But doesn’t everyone experience that at some point in their lives? Is this normal and I’m just working myself into a tizzy for nothing? At the end of the day, Chad is the one I want to be with, and I can’t picture my life without him. Maybe we just got lucky and found each other early on, saving us both from other unneeded heartbreaks. Yes, I think I’ll go with that. We can face this world together, and that makes it all the more fun.